10. Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Growing up, there were two songs that all suburban white boys knew by heart: "Ice Ice Baby" and the theme song to Fresh Prince. It may have been cheesy, but for many of us it was our first introduction to rap - and for my money, rap's never been better.

What can I say, this one is just fun, and it fits the tropical nature of the show quite nicely.

8. Night Court

This is a totally underrated but awesome little jazzy number that is utterly hummable and unforgettable.

7. $25,000 Pyramid

Probably my oddest entry, but I stand by my decision. It would probably make more sense to have a separate list of top 10 game show theme songs, but if I had to pick one to make my overall list, this would be it. Like "Night Court", it's a very catchy and memorable jingle, which is the hallmark of great theme songs.

6. The A-Team

Don't give me no jibber-jabber! I don't know what I like best about this one, the song itself or the introductory statement that kicks it off:

"In 1972 a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire the A-Team."

How cool is that? To be honest, the best thing about this song is that it feels so patriotic and heroic; nothing short of that would be fitting for my man Mr. T.

5. Magnum PI

This song rocks, end of story.

4. The X-Files

Major points here for effectiveness - in fact, I would argue no theme song in the history of theme songs sets the mood better than the X-Files theme. It's utterly creepy and mysterious, very much like this great show.

3. The Jeffersons

I've seen countless lists of great theme songs, and why does it seem like this one is never included? The theme to the Jeffersons is so much fun - from the soulful lead vocals, to the hallelujah chorus, to the quirky lyrics ("Fish don't fry in the kitchen; Beans don't burn on the grill!"), it is a work of art. And the cherry on top is the final note, where she drags out the word "pie" for like 5 seconds. This one is timeless.

2. The Greatest American Hero

I was so tempted to put this at #1, but I just couldn't do it. This song earns its spot by winning the award for catchiest theme of all time. Just fire up this tune in a crowded room and you're guaranteed to have at least 20 people singing "Believe it or not, I'm walking on air". I can listen to this song a hundred times and not get tired of it.

1. Cheers

Classic, understated, lyrically effective and musically beautiful. The theme to "Cheers" not only sets the mood for the show perfectly but it's a great tune in its own right. The lone piano at the beginning and end of the song strikes the perfect chord. The song, like the show, is a perfect blend of happiness and sadness, and it's the kind of tune that just makes you want to get sentimental. Call me unoriginal, but there's a reason people love to name this song the best theme ever.

Honorable mention:

Dukes of Hazzard
Law & Order
MacGyver
Saved By The Bell
Cops
The Wire (Season 1)
Highlander (Queen version)

Week 1: Notre Dame

On the Thursday before Labor Day a bunch of us headed up to Chicago to enjoy the city before heading over to Notre Dame. Chicago is one of my favorite cities, because it has such a pulse to it. While there I had a chance to check out plenty of attractions, including the Art Institute of Chicago, Millennium Park, a boat tour of the river and all of the amazing architecture surrounding it, Navy Pier, and the Museum of Contemporary Art. Sears Tower was a notable omission but I've been before. I also had the chance to sample plenty of authentic Chicago cuisine, including an Italian beef sandwich, a chicago-style dog, and the obligatory deep-dish pizza. The only downside of the trip was the mess that was my attempt to get back to the airport on the El after the game. A combination of misinformation from the hotel desk clerk and stupidity on my part (due to working on 3 hours of sleep) led to me having quite the time getting home. Oh well, c'est la vie.

Now, as for Notre Dame: what an interesting trip. We allowed 3 hours drive time (although it's a one-hour drive), assuming gameday traffic would be crazy. In reality, the roads were empty. What we came to find out was that Midwesterners apparently have no real concept of getting to the game real early - which is fine with me, because it made our trip easier (despite my leaving my ticket in the hotel room and having to go back for it after 20 minutes on the road).

Notre Dame itself was quite subdued - all of the tailgate spots are located on the edge of campus, so the campus grounds themselves, and all the beautiful greenspace, are all open and inviting. And the fans were the nicest I've ever seen - numerous times people would stop us to say welcome and to wish us an enjoyable time. I've never seen anything like it. It almost made me feel bad that we stomped them the way we did.

Then again, I wouldn't have had it any other way. There's nothing quite as fulfilling as crushing an opponent.

Final score: Georgia Tech 33, Notre Dame 3.

Week 2: Samford

Ahh, the first home game. Tailgating. The thrill of the home crowd. The energy of the stadium. Post-game celebrations. More food and drink than anyone could handle. The whole thing is a blast, and it always helps when you open up with an undersized, overwhelmed opponent. The tailgate was short but sweet, and a ton of people showed up (around 50!). The game started out good and just got better - the only downside was the sweltering heat. But it was a small price to pay for a great win.

Final score: Georgia Tech 69, Samford 14

Moving Forward

My original prediction for the season had us at 8-4, losing 4 of the following games: Notre Dame, Boston College, Clemson, VT, Miami, Georgia. After seeing our team, I'm changing the prediction to 10-2, with possible losses in the following games: Clemson, Georgia, VT. The first step is to take care of BC at home this week, which I really feel will be a statement game for us. And the game is at 8 PM, meaning an all-day tailgate is on the horizon. I can hardly wait for Saturday to get here...

Disclaimer: I will keep my review spoiler-free; however, this does not mean that it is detail-free. I can't tell you anything useful if I don't elaborate somewhat on the storyline. So my promise is to give enough details to be mildly informative, while strictly avoiding the revealing of anything critical. But if you're the kind of person (like myself) who prefers to go into a book completely blind, such that every word is a complete surprise, read no further...

So, how do you bring a complex storyline to a proper conclusion, while fulfilling the hopes, dreams and expectations of millions of rabid fans? This was the modest task laid before J.K. Rowling for the final book in the Harry Potter series. Considering the enormity of the task, I would say that all-in-all she did a bang-up job. Somehow she finds a way to pack in several thrilling battle scenes, a lengthy sojourn for a group of exiles, and tons of critical backstory on several important characters - all while bringing everyone's storyline to a close. To even complete such a task is impressive; to do it well is remarkable. It might have its flaws, but I suspect all fans of the Boy Who Lived will find Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows to be a fitting conclusion; maybe not perfect, but certainly worthwhile and fulfilling.

At a high level, the story revolves around the trio and their pursuit of the Horcruxes, which is no surprise since Book 6 set up this storyline. But the introduction of the Deathly Hallows was a new angle to the story, the nature of which was a subject of much debate. Without revealing the true identity of the Hallows, I will simply say that they were a welcome addition to the story, and although not introduced until the seventh book, they were written in so well that they didn't seem like a late addition to the canon. The relationship between the Hallows and Horcruxes is a fascinating one, and this is the very impetus that brings forth the true leader in Harry.

A prime focus of this story is this pursuit of leadership, which is only natural, since it has always seemed a bit strange that the whole wizarding world should look to an immature teenager who lacks confidence and direction. Throughout a good portion of the novel Harry struggles with doubts, questions himself and his mentors, and really undergoes a hero's quest to find his true calling. He comes out on the other side prepared to do battle, as we have known for the last 10 years that he must. It is this final step in his development that, up to this point, has been sorely lacking and thankfully finally comes to fruition.

As I alluded to earlier, yet another focus is character development for two major characters: Snape and Dumbledore. In Dumbledore's case, I question the true relevance and necessity of the information that was revealed. It felt a bit out of place, especially so late in the game. Contrast this with the backstory on Snape, a character who has been shrouded in mystery for so long; his story is presented so powerfully, and timed so beautifully within the context of the novel, that it is undoubtedly one of the highlights of the book.

As you might expect, this novel is steeped in death; anything else would have been a disservice to the integrity of the story. People will die; forces of both good and evil, children, creatures, and so on. Major characters are not spared simply on the pretense of being important. The fallout is severe, and magnifies the reality of what is at stake. Half of the fun is finding out who lives and dies, but for each feeling of elation that accompanies seeing someone survive, there is the sadness of watching a close friend pass on. Somehow it's tougher to say goodbye in death than it is to reach the end of the book and know that there are no more pages for the stories of the living.

A thought that came to mind at several points while reading this novel was that it borrowed heavily from Tolkien's Lord of the Rings trilogy. I felt this was noteworthy because, throughout the first 6 books I never had that feeling, because Rowling has done such a marvelous job of carving out her own fascinatingly creative universe. At first I held this against the book, but the more I thought of it, I realized the sheer inevitability of it. What makes Tolkien's work so unbelievable is its effect on everything after it; there has hardly been a fantasy story written in the last 50 years that hasn't borrowed heavily from it. Given the nature of Rowling's story - an epic battle between good and evil with an unlikely hero - to expect no parallels to Rings would be foolhardy. If anything, her conclusion is a testament and a tribute to the great work that Tolkien started and Rowling has continued, to the delight of countless fans.

Judged on its merits as a concluding piece, Hallows fits the bill. All of the major questions will be answered. Is Snape good or bad? Is Dumbledore really dead? Will Harry & Co. survive? All of these and more are addressed. That being said though, I cannot say it is my favorite book. It has significant weaknesses, including the lengthy focus on Dumbledore's past, and a seemingly interminable portion of the story in which the trio sit around aimlessly and listlessly, doing little but argue and sulk. While such plotlines would have fit well earlier in the story, both felt sorely out of place given the feeling of intense apprehension that was building throughout the book. In my opinion, it is probably the 3rd or 4th best offering - definitely behind Books 4 and 6, and around the same level as Book 3.

This is not said to diminish Rowling's work in any way; on the contrary, the Harry Potter series stands on its own as one of the finest literary series to come along in a great long while, and probably the best in its genre since Rings. There is no weak link, which is probably due to the fact that it is clear now that she knew what she wanted to accomplish from the very first book. The characters are well-developed and utterly real (sometimes painfully so). The surroundings are lush and fascinating, and for every tidbit that delights the imagination, there is an ever-present sense of fear and evil to contrast it. Her universe is truly a magical place.

With any good series, you hate to say goodbye; not just to the characters, but to the world itself. When you finish Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, it's like closing the door on a little portion of yourself - you're not going to want to put it down.

11:50: Leave house. Destination: Wal-Mart.
11:54: Arrive at Wal-Mart.
11:55: Enter store and approach front of line. Begin walking to the back of the line...
11:56: ... still walking ...
11:57: ... still walking ...
11:58: Disgusted, I leave Wal-Mart. Destination: Kroger (across the street).
11:59: Arrive at Kroger.
12:00: They put a book in my hand as soon as I walk in the door.
12:01: While waiting in line to pay, I do everything I can to completely ignore the family in front of me who literally grabbed the book, flipped to the last page, read it, and begin commenting on what they find there. Not making this up.

12:04: Emerge from Kroger mostly unscathed and very happy I didn't wait at Wal-Mart.

I'm not even kidding, the line at Wal-Mart spanned the entire length of the store. For that matter, it might have wrapped around on itself. I have no idea because I never even saw the end - after walking past at least 100-200 people I bolted.

Book review forthcoming...

Well, I'm here to report that the rumors are true; this show is as good as advertised. Despite my love for 24 and Lost, I must admit that The Wire is probably the finest TV drama I've ever seen. That's not to say it's for everyone; on the contrary, it's probably only suited for a small segment of the TV-watching population. It has a huge assortment of characters (over 50 at last count), an extremely thorough and slowly-developing storyline, and lots of different side plots. Add to this a focus on the drug trade, and a heaping ton of harsh and profane slang and you have a show that is a daunting (and likely insurmountable) task for the casual viewer.

So what's so good about it? Well, the acting is out of this world. The story is utterly realistic and very rich with detail. The characters are a portrait of reality; there is no obvious "good" and "bad", just "human" (very much like The Shield). But most of all, the writing will knock you over. With honest brutality the show examines the Balitmore drug trade and all the scenarios surrounding it, including the relationships between dealers and cops, politicians and their unwillingness to help out the defenseless, drug suppliers, the school system, and the street environment which funnels children into drugs. It is so frank and heartbreaking that it will open your eyes to a whole new universe.

If you're not scared off yet, I urge you to check it out. Buy the DVDs or rent them from Netflix/Blockbuster. Order HBO if you have to. In fact, I'll probably do this when Season 5 (the final one) airs, because I know I'm not going to want to wait to see how this one ends. You think The Sopranos is good? I'm telling you, it can't hold a candle to The Wire. It's not even a fair fight...

So Oscar turned a year old on Father's Day, and I figured a fitting present (considering his consistently good behavior) would be to stop crating him during the day while I'm at work. Unfortunately, that decision has been met with mixed results. Most of the days he has been fine, but I've returned home to find a couple of bad surprises. The first one I noticed was his tendency to chew on some of the wooden blinds in the dining room. Then he decided to eat (and later regurgitate) a brush that my roommate left on his floor.

Needless to say I was surprised to see this bad behavior, especially since I've left him home for many hours at a time on numerous previous occasions, and never once did we have an issue. However, I have a feeling that his acting up has less to do with being left out of the crate, and more to do with his age. I have heard that usually dogs between 1-2 years of age often test their boundaries and are much more troublesome than at any other point in their lives. What makes me think this is that he has done some other bad stuff lately, not during work hours. Last Sunday as I left for church I left him out for an hour or so, and came home to find an old couch pillow torn open. And just last night, after I fell asleep on the couch, I woke up to find he had chewed on the dining room wall.

I disciplined him pretty significantly for all of these incidents, which I hate doing because now whenever I return home from work he acts scared regardless if he's been good or bad. But I'm sure this will disappear over time, as he outgrows this bad behavior. I just hope it isn't an ongoing trend for the next year.

Lolita is a troubling and disturbing book on many levels, beyond the obvious reason of the subject matter. Nobody would expect a story about a pedophile to be a cheery and pleasant read. But the real trouble here is that the book is lyrical, beautiful, sincere, and utterly convincing. Vladimir Nabokov, a master of prose, does the seemingly impossible by writing a love story between man and girl that walks a fine line between condemnation and approval. He forces the reader to postpone the natural tendency to be revolted and instead seriously consider the characters' situation. To pair some of the most beautiful writing of our time with such a deep-seated taboo subject, and have the result be universally acclaimed, is surely one of the most impressive literary feats in recent memory.

Lolita is a strongly psychological work, focusing primarily on its main character, Humbert Humbert - a distinguished, well-spoken, strikingly handsome, and fundamentally deranged man. It is obvious from the beginning that he is writing the novel from prison, and he presents the story as his life's work, showing considerable pride and absolutely no remorse for his actions. Like any good psychological study, he begins by retelling critical events of his childhood, including a fateful relationship which framed the way he would see women forever. He then gives us the first glimpse of his warped mind, discussing at length the characteristics of what he refers to as a "nymphet". According to Humbert, certain girls in their preteen years assume an innocently seductive persona which he finds to be utterly irresistible. It is on this premise that he begins the tale of how he met and pursued his Lolita.

So what makes this story more than the reprehensible memoirs of a pedophile? Well, I wouldn't even be writing this if there weren't several such reasons. The first is that Humbert does not fit the stereotype associated with pedophilia. In fact, he is the exact opposite of the introverted reprobate that usually comes to mind. This is the easiest difference to swallow; after that, the reasons get much more complicated and disturbing. For example, there is the depth of feeling and sincerity in Humbert's emotions. Despite his inappropriate affection, there can be no doubt that he loves Lolita with unbelievable passion. It has been said that Lolita is "the only convincing love story of our century", and if you were to ignore the circumstances regarding the relationship and focus purely on the words and thoughts of Humbert, you will be tempted to agree.

Even more troublesome is the possibility that it is Lolita that seduces Humbert, and not vice versa. Nabokov never suggests this as an excuse for his narrator's behavior, but nonetheless it deviates from the traditional "man seduces unknowing child" undercurrent that usually runs through these kinds of stories. Lolita is not your typical pre-teenager; while she does exhibit a healthy amount of capriciousness and immaturity, she clearly has some sort of innate sexual awareness. For all of Humbert's composure and deviousness, he is constantly manipulated and confounded by a twelve-year-old girl who is obviously aware of what she's doing. There's a reason that this story introduced the term "lolita" into the English lexicon; she is such a distinctive and controversial character, the type of which had never been considered or acknowledged to possibly exist in the real world before Nabokov's novel.

All of this amounts to a perplexing and thought-provoking story. Lolita is a beautiful read; masterfully written with flowing language and a good dose of humor, too. Humbert is a likable and almost-sympathetic narrator. And it is a tragic love story, careening towards a terrible ending from the very outset. These things are the hallmarks of great and classic literature. But the addition of the adult-child dynamic has produced wild results, from outrage to acclaim. It is stories like this that are so important because they stand out as original, inspired works that challenge the reader. I guarantee you that, at some point while reading this novel, you will forget that Humbert is an older man and Lolita is a child. Then it will come flooding back to you in a wave of shame, afraid to admit to anyone that for even a moment the love story seemed legitimate. This is Nabokov's great accomplishment.

... which makes it all the more ironic that I bought an iPod. Now, to be honest, I didn't buy one as much as contribute to the purchase of one. Due to a gift I received from my company for being named "Employee of the Quarter" sometime last year, I was able to get an iPod on the cheap. I will admit that this is one of the few Apple products that has at least intrigued me, because I am passionate about music and see the upside of having all my music with me at all times. So I splurged and bought one of the brand-new 80GB video iPods.

For the most part I've been happy. The huge hard drive meant I could put my entire music library (3000+ songs) on there with plenty of room to spare. I can take it into the car, to my desk at work, on walks with the dog, when running, etc. It was a real hassle up-front (to the tune of several days) to get my music organized and onto the iPod, and I have all kinds of issues with iTunes (which I won't discuss here), but for the most part it's been a positive experience.

If the idea sounds interesting, but you don't know where to start, never fear! Here's a list of some of my favorite podcasts that I've uncovered over the last year:

TV / Entertainment

• The Lost Podcast With Jay and Jack (www.jayandjack.com) - As you might expect, this is a podcast about the TV show "Lost". This is one of my favorite podcasts, because it is a good mix of show analysis and banter between the hosts. With most podcasts the chattiness of the hosts just gets in the way, but in this case it really adds to the show. When "Lost" is in-season the podcast comes out twice a week. In the first episode they recap the show, replay listener feedback from their voicemail line, and give their "Crackpot Theory of the Week". On the second episode they take a closer look at the past episode (focusing more on easter eggs), analyze the previews for the upcoming episode, and replay more feedback. "Lost" might be over for now, but the show will run throughout the off-season, discussing theories and any show news. Highly recommended for "Lost" fans.
• The 10th Wonder Podcast (www.thetenthwonder.com) - This is one of the first and best podcasts for the show "Heroes". A little shorter and more focused than the Lost podcast, these guys do one show a week while the show is in-season, spending equal time on episode recaps, show news, and theory discussions. They do an excellent and very professional job of analyzing all things "Heroes". Fans of the show should definitely check this out.
• The Wiire (www.thewiire.com) - A Podcast dedicated to the Nintendo Wii. I subscribed to this one once I bought a Wii to keep up to date on things coming down the pipe, game reviews, etc. It is a constantly changing panel of 3-4 people and for the most part they do a good job of discussing fresh news and speculating on upcoming titles/technologies.
• LOSTCasts (www.lostcasts.com) - Yet another "Lost" podcast, but this one is very different in focus from Jay & Jack's show. They do one show a week while "Lost" is in-season; they basically eliminate the listener feedback and banter, focusing exclusively on theory analysis, which is always extremely interesting to follow. They do a very good job of thoroughly exploring many major theories in each episode. If you're looking for "Lost" speculation and want no fluff, this is the podcast for you.
• Mugglecast (www.mugglecast.com) - OK, I'll admit it, this is my guilty pleasure. For those in the know, this is a Harry Potter related podcast produced by the folks at Mugglenet.com, the premier HP website. I like the books, so I like listening to these folks analyze them and make predictions about the upcoming book. They do about one episode a week; it's usually longer than it should be and often gets a bit too in-depth for my liking, but it's still fairly enjoyable.
• The Brickfilms Podcast (www.brickfilms.com) - I stumbled upon this one by accident, but it's pretty cool. This is a video podcast where each episode is a different "Brickfilm", which is basically a LEGO Movie. In my experience it's been pretty hit-or-miss, but some of them have been pretty enjoyable. New episodes come sparingly; lately there has only been one every couple months.
• Jay and Jack's RambleCast (www.jayandjack.com/ramblecast) - Produced by the same guys who do "The Lost Podcast", this is their off-topic podcast in which they talk about whatever they feel like - movies, music, TV, etc. They even have a trivia segment in which Jay grills Jack. If you like these hosts (which I do), you'll probably like the show.

Sports

• Pardon The Interruption (espnradio.espn.go.com/espnradio/podcast/index) - If you've seen PTI, you know what you're getting here; this is the audio feed of the show. For the uninitiated, PTI is a great sports analysis show in which two colorful analysts discuss and debate relevant sports topics. Just to keep it interesting, they also sprinkle in a bit of pop culture discussion, too. The show is rigidly structured with set times for discussions, "feature" segments, etc. The hosts are top-notch sports anlalysts and have great personalities for this kind of thing. I think most sports nuts are instinctively drawn to this kind of show.
• MSR NFL Roundtable (www.mysportsradio.com) - One of my favorite podcasts, these guys discuss all things NFL in a panel-type discussion. Reliably produced twice a week, and always limited to less than a half hour, these guys know their football and are passionate about it. Week to week they will discuss breaking news or recap games, but at key times of the year (pre-draft, training camp) they will do in-depth features. If you are a football fan and you are OK with highly-opinionated and uncouth analysts, give this one a try.
• ESPN College Football Insider (espnradio.espn.go.com/espnradio/podcast/index) - Another ESPN podcast, this one is (obviously) focused purely on NCAA football. During the offseason they do occasional features like preview the upcoming season per conference, and once games start they will recap the week's action and look forward to the upcoming week. A short podcast, but a good summary for college football fans.

Humor

• Strong Bad Emails (podstar.homestarrunner.com) - I don't even know how to describe this cartoon video series; just go watch one, you'll either love it or hate it. Every time a new video short is posted on Homestarrunner.com, it is also published to the video podcast.
• Ask a Ninja (www.askaninja.com) - It's just what it sounds like; a ninja answers fan emails on video. It's pretty hit-or-miss, but when he's clicking he's hilarious, mainly because everything he says is totally ridiculous.

I would be curious to hear of any other great podcasts to which any of you subscribe...

Take note: the label of "Best Show on TV" is firmly up-for-grabs after this lackluster season of my favorite show. You know there are issues when the producers themselves acknowledge that the season wasn't very good because it was too much rehash of previous seasons. No good characters (except Jack), no good villains, very few good storylines... unless the creators take hold of the reins and make some drastic changes, this show is going to risk falling into the same mire of mediocrity where most shows spend their entire existence. It should be noticed that it was still an enjoyable season of TV, but this show has set an impossibly high standard for itself. With regard to all the criticism this season will likely get, all I can say is that they brought this upon themselves by offering up so many consistent years of phenomenal television prior to this season.

Season: 2

Grade: B+

Finale: A

Many wondered where a show called "Prison Break" could go after the show's premise (readers who guessed "breaking out of prison" can pat themselves on the back now) was completed in Season 1. I admit this critique seemed fair, which is all the more reason that the naysayers should give credit where credit is due. Season 2 might not have been as tight, focused and all-around excellent as the first season (when does that ever happen anyways?), but it stands on its own as a very good season of TV. The writers took lots of risk with the story, which they practically had to do since the show no longer took place in prison. Instead they chose to focus primarily on the conspiracy that was the secondary story of Season 1, with excellent results. They've positioned themselves to a place where they have plenty of content to continue this show for the foreseeable future, and there's no reason to think the quality is going to drop anytime soon. The finale deserves extra kudos, for being as confusing and intriguing as an episode of "Lost".

Season: 6

Grade: B-

Finale: B

It kills me to say this, but "The Shield" lost a step this year. Not a huge one, but a step nonetheless. Coming off the best season yet, Season 6 simply couldn't stand up to last year's tour-de-force 11-episode whirlwind. You could make a case for this season needing to be more mellow, so as not to resolve too many plotlines before next year's final season, but the fact remains that while still exciting and groundbreaking, it was probably the weakest season thus far. Mostly I blame this on some seemingly useless storylines (for secondary characters) that seemed to go nowhere; consequently this meant less storyline for the main Vic-Shane showdown, which should have bore the brunt of this season's time. Though I do feel a bit let down and hate having to wait a whole year for Season 7, I have no doubt that the creators will send this show off with a bang (or, perhaps, multiple shotgun blasts).

Season: 3

Grade: A

Finale: A+

Despite its slow start, Lost really stepped it up a notch in the second-half of the season, and answered all its critics with tons of answers and plenty of new questions too. While it might be initially frustrating to get one answer for every two questions, the one thing that is clear to me is that the writers know exactly what they're doing, and have a plan for how the story will resolve itself. Because of this, I'm willing to let them mystify me for as long as it takes, knowing that at one point, even if not till the very end, there will be resolution. Lost is without a doubt the king of office water-cooler TV talk, and this season only served to reinforce that. Criticize it if you will, but no show is as fun to watch and to discuss as Lost.

Season: 13

Grade: C-

Finale: A-

ER is practically dead, and probably should have been ended 3 or 4 years ago; at this point I'm simply watching because, hey, I had watched 12, so why not 13? I expect it to end soon (please God, next year!) so I'm willing to put up with a little sub-par programming just to see how everything ends and get a sense of completion from the whole thing. There were a couple decent episodes here and there, but for the most part this is uninspired TV. Similar to where "24" is starting to head, ER is characterized by uninteresting characters and recycled stories; the magic is clearly gone. I must give credit for one thing though: "ER" knows how to do finales. Clearly the best episode of the season, there was a real shocker there that almost made the season worth watching.

Season: 6

Grade: C

Finale: C+

As you can tell, I've been less than impressed with most of my favorite shows lately, and Scrubs is no exception. While it hasn't suffered from the loss of great characters like "24" and "ER", it still feels played out in this, its sixth season. There's only so far you can take this quirky comedy before it all feels recycled. It didn't help that this seemed like the last season (and was being set up as so), only to have NBC renew it for at least one more year. Let's hope that next season will see some new interesting stories and a new take on this quirky comedic style that used to be so fresh.

Season: 4 (ending)

Grade: C-

Finale: A

Like "ER", I watched the last couple seasons of this show simply to see it through to completion. As one might expect, this was the weakest season yet, and doesn't bear much comment, except to note that the show is now over. The finale, to its credit, was a phenomenal episode; while it did suffer from some of the crappy writing that plagued the rest of the season, for the most part it was fun, thoughtful, and poignant. I doubt the final moments of the show could have been written any better. "The O.C." was probably the oddest entry in my TV schedule; it was not at all like anything else I watched, and thus it provided some interesting contrast. It started great and ended pretty good, with some decent times in-between, so I can't really complain.

Season: 3

Grade: B+

Finale: B-

With the fading of "Scrubs" and cancellation of "Arrested Development", "The Office" has stepped up and taken its place as the best comedy on TV (with the possible exception of "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia"). Michael and his crew are still as funny as ever; the writing is still funny and fresh, and the creators have also succeeded in making characters that aren't just funny, but are likable, too; which opens a whole new set of storylines regarding character development, such as the Jim-Pam crowd pleaser. "The Office" is up there with Lost in terms of water-cooler conversation, as the jokes are just as funny the next morning as they were in the show. Let's hope this show continues to be funny and daring next season.

Season: 4

Grade: C

Finale: C

Oh boy. We might have seen the best days of "Hustle" go by long ago. This season was a textbook example of what usually happens to a show that loses its lead actor (in this case, Adrian Lester). In short, it wasn't very good; the "new" leader isn't suited in the role, and the replacement team member is practically useless, and isn't a very good actor either. On top of all this, the plots were a bit too contrived, even for a show like this which demands much suspension of disbelief. I hate to say it, but if Adrian Lester doesn't return, this show will be dead in the water - which would be a shame.

Clearly, if I had to pick the best show this past season, it would be "Lost". For reference, here's my "best of the best" for the last 5 years:

• 2006/2007: Lost (Season 3)
• 2005/2006: The Shield (Season 5)
• 2004/2005: Lost (Season 1)
• 2003/2004: 24 (Season 3)
• 2002/2003: 24 (Season 2)

One other point of interest: I should note that the only new show I picked up this year was "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip". Despite my penchant for picking successful shows from their beginnings (Lost, ER, The Shield, etc.), I kinda screwed the pooch on this one. However, in my defense, I will say that it was a good show, particularly the pilot which really hooked me good. However, the subject matter and tone of the show were not one to draw mass audiences, so it got the axe. Se la vie...

And with that, TV is now dead to me (with the exception of tennis coverage) until my shows return. Thank God for TV on DVD from Netflix!

Here's looking forward to "Always Sunny" come this September, the first show to return...

Portnoy's Complaint: A disorder in which strongly-felt ethical and altruistic impulses are perpetually warring with extreme sexual longings, often of a perverse nature...

Philip Roth's description of the fictional psychological disorder at the forefront of his novel is as precise and succint a synopsis as you're going to find. The book's central (and practically only) character, Alexander Portnoy, is a man intensely struggling and internally warring with issues of inadequacy, depravity and a lack of identity, among other things. During a visit to his psychologist (presumably one of many such trips) he bares his soul, and it is the content of this session that represents the whole of Portnoy's Complaint. The entire book is a single conversation, although "diatribe" might better describe it, as the communication is purely one-sided. Over the course of 300 or so pages Alex discusses every minutae of his life in painful, yet often hilarious, detail, bringing the reader along on a wild and insightful look into a man dealing with many demons...

The first quality about Portnoy that should be noted is that he's Jewish, since that is the cornerstone of most of his issues. In his family dynamic we get a revealing portrait of a Jewish family in Jersey in the 1940's; the focal point of this portrait, and the driving force behind most of Alex's actions, is his mother. A character study herself, she is passionate, strong-willed, devoted to her family - and the perpetual thorn in Alex's side. His mother seemingly alternates between excessively doting on him, and manipulating his life with the art of a puppeteer. At one point Alex recants several early childhood memories; sitting in his mother's bedroom as she undressed in front of him (a regular occurrence, despite his increasing age) and her threatening his bad behavior with a kitchen knife. She is a woman who clearly sends out mixed signals, and Alex suffers from them throughout his life.

Growing up in a Jewish home, Alex is intensely aware of his heritage; every page is lined with Jewishness. He embraces his lineage not as a religion or nation, but as a badge of honor; throughout the novel he champions his natural talents and makes disparaging remarks about the goyim (Gentiles) with which he interacts. But even in this difference he is conflicted. He both loves and hates non-Jews; from afar he despises their look, their stupidity, and their religion; yet he covets their women and their ability to live normal lives, free from the oppression of being a Jew.

Once we get past his childhood the majority of the book centers around Alex's sexual escapades, which are numerous and disturbing. From his early insatiable appetites, to his post-pubescent obsessions, to his dysfunctional relationships as an adult, every grisly detail of his fractured psyche is laid bare throughout the novel. At times the language is fairly graphic, and the reader should be prepared for frank discussions about sex, fetish, and exploitation. Luckily Roth keeps things light and humorous, preventing the book from descending into pornography; instead, it's just a highly bizarre yet comically quirky discourse on depravity.

The book starts off with a roar and has a great sense of humor about it, as Roth infuses his narrator with a razor sharp wit and the gift of good storytelling. As you might expect, however, the story does bog at times, particularly in the later pages as Alex delves into the minutiae of his adult relationships. However, he wraps things up before it gets out of hand, and considering the ambitious premise of a single monologue as a novel, Roth should be granted some artistic license.

For the most part, I really enjoyed reading this novel. It's not often that I find myself laughing as I read, but there were plenty of laughs in Alex's story. For all his faults, he's really just a mixed-up kid that could have turned out a lot better with a few more positive influences in his life. But he is who he is, and it makes for a mostly hilarious and intensely interesting story of a man struggling with himself. I recommend it for the reader who is not easily offended, and could use a good laugh and a great character study.

The last few months have been a breeze. Any of Oscar's early vices, like a propensity for chewing on my hands and the walls, have all pretty much disappeared. I would consider potty training a success, since it has been at least a month or two since the last accident. In fact, with the exception of a tendency to jump on people when he greets them, and a desire to chew towels in his crate when bored, I can say that he is practically the ideal dog.

I still haven't taught him how to Heel, which is simply due to my laziness. We've been working on Come off and on for awhile, and he picked up the basics quickly, but he still has a tendency to not listen when he's distracted, particularly while outside. We're working on it daily now until he gets it right, after which we'll move on to Heel.

We had a major milestone occur the other day, when he made his first frisbee catch. He loves chasing it, and for months he would run it down and bat it down out of the air. But suddenly one day he realized how to go up with his teeth and grab it down, and he's been trying ever since. He's probably only successful 1 out of every 10 or so, but it's only a matter of time.

The only real question left to answer is: at what point do I stop crating him while I'm gone during the day? The idea of crate training is to build them up to a point of trust, and he's been so good that I'm tempted to go ahead and let him out. However, it seems pretty standard to go at least one year before doing that, so I'm a bit hesitant. What I have started doing is leaving him out and unsupervised for small quantities of time as I leave to run errands and such. We do this pretty frequently nowadays, for up to an hour or so, and he's never caused any problems. I will probably just ramp this up slowly until I feel safe that he won't damage anything or use the bathroom. Here's hoping it's a smooth transition.

Chapter VII: Words of Wisdom

Based on my experiences over the last few months, here are the things I would tell to a new or potential dog owner:

• Do your homework when choosing a dog. If you're getting one from a Rescue group or the Pound, great. But if going through a Breeder, make sure to choose a responsible one. Google should reveal all kinds of helpful resources to aid you. And whatever you do, don't buy from a retail store. These kinds of places cannot discriminate against potential buyers and thus cannot ensure that the purchaser is a good choice. Any reputable place should check to make sure that you are ready to care for a dog.
• Crate train! All the evidence supports that it is the proper method of housebreaking. People who don't do it say it's cruel to the dog, which isn't true; the truth is that they don't have the heart to do it. If done properly, most dogs will take to the crate very quickly, but you have to be diligent and careful about how you acclimate the dog to the crate. Pick up a good book on puppy training and follow the instructions. If you're interested, here's the book that I used, and I can say that it was a very good all-around guide to puppy ownership: The Everything Puppy Book
• In Kong We Trust: Kong toys are the best value on the market. Dogs love them, they come in all shapes in sizes, they are affordable, and the tough rubber will NOT tear apart.
• Use flea control as soon as is safe for the dog. After brining him home, Oscar developed a bad case of fleas practically from day one. I held off on treatment for awhile, and they basically ate him alive. Since I started applying the treatment, I haven't seen a single flea. We use Advantage brand, and I've been completely satisfied with it.
• Get a bottle of Bitter Apple to knock out bad chewing habits before they get serious.
• Start training early and be consistent in your methods. Whatever book you picked up above should cover basic training as well.

And that brings us up to the present, and the end of our journey through the last 8 months. I'll continue to post updates as other significant things occur, as well as any other helpful tips that come to mind.

You can find all my pictures in the gallery link on my page; you can also find plenty of pictures Adam has taken at: http://www.flickr.com/photos/aparkerw.

By the end of the first week we had settled into a regular schedule, but that doesn't mean it wasn't without stress. For me, the roughest period was after the first week (once the initial fun wore off) until the end of the first month or so, as I came to realize how much work it is to raise a puppy. I don't have children, but I can't imagine it's that much different; constant watch and supervision, cleaning up after their mistakes, teaching them right from wrong and how to behave, worrying that you're not doing something right, etc. All in all it was a pretty stressful month.

I've always had dogs in the home, but they've never been puppies; as such, I didn't quite understand the degree to which my schedule would change. No going straight from work over to hang out with friends. No more sleeping through the night (or sleeping in on the weekends, for that matter). No more random vacations or excursions. During this period I had real mixed feelings; I didn't regret getting a dog, but I did really feel cramped by the burden.

To his credit, though, Oscar did his part to ease the transition by being well-behaved and receptive to instruction. As I mentioned in Part I, he really took to crate/potty training; after soiling his crate the first night, he has yet to do it since. It also didn't take long for him to get comfortable going in the crate on his own. I think it helped that I worked at home half the day, so that I could keep him in the crate but still be at home - I feel this helped prevent him from associating the crate with being alone. The picture below represents a major milestone, as it was the first time he laid down in the crate voluntarily while the door was open. You can see from his size that he was still quite young:

We also started training after a week or two, and he really took to it. By the end of the first month he had pretty well mastered numerous commands, including: Sit, Stay, Shake, Speak, Down, Crawl, Roll Over, and High Five. The two hardest (Come and Heel) I saved for when he was a bit older.

Chapter V: Getting Into Rhythm

By the end of the first month Oscar was old enough to hold his eliminations for half a work day, so I stopped working from home and switched into a new schedule where I would come home every day at lunch (this lasted until he was old enough to go the entire work day). As we overcomed initial obstacles, new ones presented themselves. We started regular vet trips for vaccinations, which presented a problem for him because he didn't take to car rides very well. He threw up on each ride, which apparently is common with pups. I felt bad for him, because I'm sure the manual transmission and shift shock weren't helping, but there wasn't much to do except wait for him to outgrow it (which he eventually did).

Another big challenge was the college football season. I'm a passionate follower of GT football and, to me, Saturdays in Fall mean football and tailgating. However, a 3 month old puppy presents a problem when you're trying to spend 12 hours or so away from home. After much thought I decided to bring him along with me to the tailgates, and crate him in the fraternity house during the games; this would give him a valuable opportunity to socialize with all kinds of other people. I would say it was a positive (albeit frustrating) experience; most people seemed to enjoy interacting with him, but honestly it was a major burden on me; I couldn't enjoy the tailgates because I had to constantly supervise him. Also, I felt like I was putting a burden on other people because he was often "in the way" and I would occasionally need other people to take his leash whenever I wanted to eat, etc. It never seemed to bother anybody but I still felt he was a bit too high-maintenance for tailgating.

Training continued to go smoothly during this period; he picked up on extended Stay (over a minute in length, with me not even in the room) and learned to Stand as best he can. We began working on Come, but I wasn't diligent enough about teaching this one early.

After several months of absolutely no behavioral problems, I started giving him some freedoms. When I first brought him home he was confined to the kitchen and bedroom only, and this continued for most of the first month. I slowly exposed him to the rest of the house and he never did anything wrong so he quickly had access to the whole house. The major freedom which I granted him at about 5 months was leaving his crate door open at night.

For the most part he was very responsible with the newfound freedoms, but strangely enough, there was probably a two week span where he misbehaved in several ways. Maybe he didn't quite know better, or maybe he was testing his limits, but either way he really pissed me off. First, after a couple weeks of leaving his crate open at night, I awoke one Saturday morning to a strange noise. Peering over the side of the bed I caught Oscar chewing on the wall. That's right, chewing... on the wall. I don't know how you chew on a flat surface but he did it. He had managed to scrape his teeth into the drywall, leaving a big ugly mark. I disciplined him pretty harshly and figured he wouldn't do it again - only to catch him do the same thing a couple weeks later. At this point I stopped leaving the crate open at night.

In a related incident, I started leaving him out of his crate and free to roam in the mornings when I was in the shower. All was fine for several weeks, until one morning I stepped out of the bathroom to see him gnawing on the wooden railing at the bottom of the staircase. Another day, another punishment.

All three of those incidents occurred within weeks of each other; I haven't had any other problems before or since.

The other big event that occurred at about 4 months was the opening of an off-leash dog park near our house. Nothing special, basically just a fenced-in grassy area, but it provided us two valuable things: a place where he could run off leash, and an opportunity to interact with other dogs. Since it opened we've been going at least once a week on the weekends. It's a great help to me because it allows him to burn off some energy, and also helped him understand how to behave properly around other dogs, including ones of different size and temperament.

Like most dogs he loves being outside, so here are a few pictures of him in his element. The first one I love, because it was one of the first good ones I got soon after he really learned how to point properly (which, interestingly enough, is instinctual for his breed; he was trying to point from the very first day I brought him home). I think a pointing pose is one of the finest looks for a dog:

When in the yard, Oscar is all about chewing on sticks. You can just see the happiness all over his face once he got ahold of this one:

You can find all my pictures in the gallery link on my page; you can also find plenty of pictures Adam has taken at: http://www.flickr.com/photos/aparkerw.

So, I'm almost done with this saga, but I think I have enough for a third part. No better way to boost ratings than to leave you with a cliffhanger! Tune in later this week for the riveting finale, including some words of wisdom for potential future first-time dog owners like myself...

The process of choosing a dog was at times frustrating, and took longer than I would have liked, but mostly it was painless. The last we checked in on the fearless dog hunter, I had tentatively "bought" an unborn Brittany from a breeder in Cumming, but was waiting to see if he would have a successful breeding. Well, the breeding did take, but unfortunately he only had a litter of 3: 2 females and 1 male. The male was claimed by the stud owner, and the other female by the breeder himself, leaving one female for me. I had a big problem with this: first off, I wanted a male; but perhaps more importantly, I didn't like the idea of not having a choice, not to mention getting the runt of the litter. I decided I was going to pursue other options, which basically meant forfeiting my deposit and starting over. Talk about frustrating...

Luckily, almost immediately I found another breeder, also in Cumming, who had a huge litter of 10, mostly male. When I contacted her I found out there were a couple people in front of me who would have first pick, but that if I wanted one there would be plenty to choose from, and they would be ready to come home in a matter of weeks. Talk about a bump in the schedule! I decided to go ahead and take the plunge; I visited her house, made sure that the litter looked well taken care of, and waited for her call to tell me to come pick one.

Chapter II: The Choice

In what will probably be one of the better birthday presents I'll get anytime soon, I received a call from the breeder on my birthday telling me that the lady in front of me won't be able to come pick, so I can go ahead and choose a pup. I was a little shocked but I wasn't going to waste anymore time. Me and my roommate headed up to Cumming and I began the difficult task of choosing a pup. I was not prepared for how difficult this would be - how do you choose? I mean, I had guidelines and all, but it's a lot different when they are staring at you. Not to mention the fact that I had so many to choose from.

I started by examining the litter together and just watching them interact. This proved difficult because when they saw me they all tried to rush the gate for attention, so it was hard to see them in their "natural habitat". But over time you could see which ones were aggressive, which ones were shy, etc. One would not leave the corner at all, so he was an easy elimination; a frightfully shy pup can often have issues. I also tried to avoid the two guys that were yelping at the top of their lungs and crawling all over their siblings to get some attention. They seemed too aggressive for my tastes.

There were two that seemed like a good fit, so I pulled each one out on their own and let them run around, tried to play with them, make sure they responded and seemed interested and curious, etc. This was the real hard part, because both seemed like real good pups. I probably spent a good half hour just watching these two, switching back and forth, and finally deciding on one. I already had his name picked out, so without further ado, Oscar and I headed home. While my roommate drove I held Oscar in the car, and he might as well have been a child from the way he clung to me.

Chapter III: The First Days

That first day was a very surreal experience. I brought Oscar into the kitchen, where his crate and toys were all ready and baby gates were in place to keep him confined. We just let him run loose and explore, and it's really amazing to watch something that small and young try to make sense of his surroundings. He slipped and slided around, and played all night, and we had a blast. It was a great first day.

The first night, however, was a nightmare. I was fully prepared for this, and warned my roommate as best I could, but even still it was just about unbearable. Despite being right next to my bed, he howled the entire night. I did my best to put up with it, understanding that he was naturally freaked out by not being with his family, but needless to say, I didn't sleep much at all that night. The good news is that by the second night he had gotten accustomed to his new home and hasn't made any noise at night since the first one.

Oscar's first day home was a Sunday, which was convenient because I was able to spend the whole day with him. Nevertheless, work beckoned the next morning; however, I am very fortunate to have a job which allows for a flexible work schedule that enabled me to accommodate puppy ownership. Basically, I was able to spend the first month or so at home every morning, coming in to the office after lunch. This allowed me to be present with Oscar for a good portion of the day, while gently breaking him into being alone.

I expected the first few days to be a nightmare with regard to crate/potty training, but really it's been a positive experience. With the proper training from my end, he really took to the crate and never exhibited any fear or dislike for it. And to my intense surprise, he seemed to catch on to the concept of going to the bathroom outside from the very beginning. This is not to say that there were not accidents in the house; but rather, any time I did take him outside, he would use the bathroom. The thing about puppies is that they go so frequently, often without any warning, that even when you do your best to handle the situation preventatively, there are going to be some times when they slip one by you. That being said though, whereas he had the occasional pee accident, I never had any problems with anything ... smellier, if you will.

All in all it was a great week; spending the mornings at home to build our bond, and then coming home from work in the afternoons to play and see him explore. It was a great start to the relationship.

You can find all my pictures in the gallery link on my page; you can also find plenty of pictures Adam has taken at: http://www.flickr.com/photos/aparkerw.

That's enough for today... come back next time for Part 2.

If it sounds clichéd, that's because it is. Not that that's a bad thing necessarily; it is just further proof of the book's simplicity. The Alchemist shares many things in common with C.S. Lewis' Narnia series, in that both are allegorical tales with spiritual undertones that are popular with kids and adults alike. The difference is that Lewis' tales are lush and evocative, with exceptional depth for their size. Coelho's tale, by comparison, is a thin shell around a motivational message. The characters are so one-dimensional and straightforward that they make sure to verbalize all of their thoughts into easily digestible nuggets of wisdom, just in case you missed the obvious point already made by their normal conversation. Each person that Santiago comes across is an archetype of someone you are likely to stumble across in real life, such as the person who is afraid of change, or the one that provides the initial spark to help you pursue a dream.

I've probably been a bit harsh on this book, and as such I should mention that there are some really cool parts to the story, not the least of which is the climax in which Santiago's life is put in jeopardy unless he is able to perform a task which seems out of his grasp. What follows is a fascinating metaphysical blend of discourse between man and nature, and is excellently written. Throughout the book Coelho refers to vague topics such as "Personal Legend", "The Soul of the World", "The Universal Language", and others. Obviously these are things left up to the interpretation of the reader, so everyone will get something different out of the book. For me, the most interesting thing was Coelho's stressing of the fact that there is a natural language that serves as the undercurrent between most things; over the course of the story Santiago masters this, learning things about men and nature simply by observing and listening to the ways of the world.

There are definitely some interesting things in The Alchemist, and considering it only took me 3 days to read it, I don't begrudge the effort. I would highly recommend this for a young person starting to think about things such as who they are and what they want to pursue; it is a very uplifting story which will likely help many folks find the strength to chase their dreams. But for those a little futher along in life, there's not enough substance here to expect anything more than a quaint little short story.

Rather than retelling the story directly from Jim as narrator, instead it is told from the point of view of Marlow, a man present at Jim's trial who takes a liking to him and helps him find solace on the forgotten island. Practically the entire story is told as a recanting of a conversation; a vast majority of the story is quoted, and there are frequent nested quotes, making it extremely difficult to determine who is talking. And if that weren't bad enough, the dialogue is hopelessly dated; so much so that it is hard to navigate. It is not difficult in a Shakespearian way (which is mostly a matter of antiquated vocabulary), but rather it was the formally structured speech that is often tangential and cyclical in nature. Despite being over a hundred years old, I have a hard time believing that people ever spoke in the way that Conrad suggested they do; if they did, I scarcely believe they would ever successfully communicate anything at all.

In 300 tedious pages, Conrad brings Jim's character through the full cycle of pride to desperation to redemption, and by the time he's done you don't really care. I suffered through great lengths of the story just trying to keep pace with who is talking and what they're trying to say. It is almost as if Conrad gets in the way of his own telling of the story; maybe if he had been less focused on writing a great book, and instead allowed the story to emerge out of the great premise, he might have created something truly classic. I don't presume to suggest that anyone who considers this book to be a great read to be wrong; but for my part, I can't see anything worthwhile here, which is a shame considering what could have been.

As you can probaby tell, I only saw 3 truly great films this year...