communication breakdown

Triumphant

Ahh, the many and complicated duties of being a groomsman. Getting measured for a tux. Helping participate in the rehearsal dinner. Ushering guests at the wedding. Escorting bridesmaids down the aisle while everyone stares at you. Making toasts, helping cleanup/setup where necessary, etc. etc. etc...

But let's be honest: the real joy of being a groomsman is taking an advantage of every opportunity you get to make the groom look like an idiot.

Mission accomplished...

So as you might have guessed, I was in a wedding this past weekend. My friend, fraternity brother and co-worker Eric finally took the plunge. It was an important wedding for me, because it signified the last wedding (at least for the foreseeable future) for which I was part of the wedding party. Despite the fact that there are at least 3 or 4 more weddings this year to which I have been invited, I can finally kick back and not have to worry about anything. Just dress up, show up, and throw up. (last step optional)

It was a very classy wedding, and a great reception at the Atlanta National Golf Club. The reception started around 7 and people weren't really leaving in earnest till around midnight. That's when the ol' gorilla made his appearance. The only thing about the night that was less-than-ideal was the DJ. I mean, I guess the music choices he made were alright (though I can't say for sure; I was too busy talking and running errands to have paid attention), but boy was this guy a moron. He was your classic Mr. "I'm not cool, but I'm in a profession where most of my peers are cool, so I'm going to act cool and fail trying" sort of guy. I think he also had a bit of Little Man's Syndrome, since he couldn't have been much more than four foot tall. But his voice was completely corny and he wanted to be in control of everything. He really did his best to screw up our attempt to sing our fraternity Sweetheart song to Kari. Rather than just letting us do our thing, he kept trying to butt in, or do things "his way", which just isn't the way it works. However, all credit to everything else being wonderful to minimize the effect that Mr. Moron had on the proceedings. All-in-all it was a great night. Oh, and did I mention that we had filet for dinner? Mmmmmmmmmmm....

Funny story: Eric specifically made sure that I was seated at Table 9. Fans of the movie The Wedding Singer should get the reference:

Wedding Singer (Adam Sandler): You know, some of us will never, ever find true love... like, take for instance... me. And I'm pretty sure that guy right over there. And the lady with the sideburns. And basically everybody at Table 9. But the worst part of all is that me, fatty, sideburns lady, and the mutants over at Table 9 will never, ever find a way to better the situation, because apparently we have nothing to offer the opposite sex.

Bride's Father: You are the worst wedding singer in the world, buddy!

Wedding Singer: Sir, one more outburst, I will strangle you with my microphone wire, do you understand me?

Mad props to Eric for that one...

So, I guess I can safely say that our impending move has changed status from "Off in the Near Future" to "On the Horizon". Total preparation thus far: 0%. It's weird, it doesn't feel like it's time to move. Maybe because I've only been here 8 months, and it's been a long time since I've moved after such a short transition. Even in college, where some people seem to move every other week, I only moved 4 times in 5 years, and three of those were just to different rooms in the same house. So it almost feels too soon. In addition, it probably doesn't help that I really like our apartment and have enjoyed our time here. If you're apartment hunting, I highly recommend AMLI. Our place is relatively new, nicely designed, clean, affordable, and supported by excellent customer service and maintenance crews. Despite all of this, moving into a home (even to rent) is a good transition step for me, enabling me to begin looking at houses in the somewhat-near-to-slightly-distant future. Now, if I could only motivate myself to start packing...

I finished the new Harry Potter last night. Amazing stuff. Expect the (spoiler-free) review to be on here soon. That reminds me: did you all hear about what happened on 99x last week? Apparently, either the day of or day after the release of the 6th book, one of the morning show folks decided to spoil the book's surprises. But they didn't just do it once: in what must be one of the dirtiest and crudest radio jokes that I know of, they basically kept repeating the information over and over, ensuring that tons of people would hear it. Had I been a listener of 99x (and I'm not), I wouldn't be anymore. Pranks are fun; humorless, spiteful tricks are not. Maybe someone will go Milton on them and burn down their building in the night...

Which reminds me: "Radio Morning-Show DJ" has to be one of the lowest forms of humanity on the planet. What good do they serve? All they do is take away time for music, which is what I want if I'm listening to an FM Radio music station. In the grand scheme of things, they just about as low as used-car salesmen and insurance bigwigs.

Last word of the day: Lance. As in Armstrong. You couldn't write fiction as good as this. An American athlete in a fringe sport, obscure even in his own country, finally draws mass attention not in victory, but in setback, having been diagnosed with cancer. With the eyes of the world upon him, he fights off not only the disease, but the entirety of his opposition for the better part of a decade, winning one of the most grueling competitions in the world. But he doesn't just win - he does it 7 times, 2 more than anyone else in history, 4 more than any other American, and 7 more than I could ever hope to win. Sporting fan or not, cycling fan or not, how can you not appreciate this story? Greatness does not come along often, whether it be in sports, politics, medicine, or anything else for that matter - and any chance we get to catch a fleeting glimpse of it should be treasured and enjoyed.

Some say Lance Armstrong has fueled the beginnings of a cycling renaissance in America, that he has brought many fans to the sport that will continue to follow after his departure. Unfortunately I have to disagree. At first, this might have been true, as Armstrong gave visibility to a sport which most Americans knew little about. I think some of the early followers of Lance, maybe those who caught on during his first couple Tour wins, might remain loyal. But for most of us, myself included, Armstrong transcended the sport, and most of those who followed him did just that; followed him, not the sport of cycling. Despite the fact that he has inspired his American contemporaries and followers to undoubtedly achieve great things in his wake, my prediction is that cycling in America will experience a massive dropoff in fan support and enthusiasm.

For all of you who fit that description: if you're looking for a replacement sport, there's plenty of room for you on the tennis bandwagon. Come on over and join me...